Real Value

An author has to be careful not to become distracted by results, particularly when those results are not the sort they’ve been hoping for. There are, of course the rejection letters. Many an author begins their career awash in sterile, polite No thank you’s. Then there are bad reviews or no reviews, small contracts, disappointing sales, the sophomore slump.

It’s easy, particularly early in a career, to make too much of these sorts of results, to believe that rejection letters mean you are not wanted, that the bad reviews mean that you are bad, that the pitiful sales are reflective of your value. An author puts so much into a book, brings so much of their unique interest to the page, that it’s tempting to believe you and the book are one, and that whatever befalls that book is your fate, whatever is said about it is said about you as well. But we are not our work. Our work is an expression of our interest and focus, and our interest and focus are always growing and shifting.

Which is why it’s also important for an author not to become distracted when the results are desirable. When I was grinding away through novel after novel, frequently distracted by rejection, I would still have plenty of days when the writing went well. On those occasions, I’d sometimes push back from my desk, proud and triumphant, and think, “By God, you’ve got what it takes, Billy Boy. You’re the real deal!” This feeling wouldn’t last long. I couldn’t carry the evidence of my worth that was that day’s work with me; I couldn’t show it to anyone or even see it myself. Often the next day I’d reread what I’d written and it didn’t seem all that great after all.

Success and failure both demand we know the source and measure of our value. The worst pain I’ve known is looking for that value where it isn’t. It’s a simple mistake, but a disorienting and life-draining one. Look in the wrong place, and all at once I’m nothing, just a meaningless accumulation of blunders and achievements. But if I look in the right place, now I have something to offer, now I have something to pour onto the page. Pour everything you have onto that page; leave nothing back. Everything you think you have only leads to more of what you are, your value the result of simply being born.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Fearless Writing: How to Create Boldly and Write With Confidence.
You can find William at: williamkenower.com