No Agenda

The more I create, and the more I pay attention to how I create, the more I am reminded of this single, inescapable rule: when I’m in a good mood, ideas come to me; when I’m in a bad mood, ideas never come to me. It’s why I like to write first thing in the morning. My mood is quite neutral then, I am running neither hot nor cold, and I have no agenda.

Well, I do want to write, and sometimes I have certain projects I’d like to start or finish, but that’s different than an agenda. When I have an agenda, I want a certain outcome. I want a team to win, or I want to get an e-mail and for it to say a certain thing, or I want someone to change their mind about something. This is my running list of things I think I need from the world to be happy.

When writing, I have to be willing to go along for the ride. I may want to finish an essay this morning, but that’s different than writing the essay. To write it, I have to be willing to discover what it’s about, to have no preconceived notion of what it wants to say. I have to be willing to get interested and stay interested, and trust that that is enough to take me some place I want to be. How nice when where I actually want to be isn’t where I thought I wanted to be. Such moments confirm my long-running suspicion that I have no real idea where I want to go.

Oddly, nothing puts me in a bad mood quite like the thought that I don’t know where to go, that I don’t know what to do next, that I have no plan. If I start spiraling in this whirlpool, I’ll try to manufacture some inspiration and direction to get me out of it. I feel the futility of empty efforts right away, which only sends me spiraling faster. I’m lost! I have no ideas. My creative well is dry.

What a sad sailor I’ve become. Fortunately, that tempest of despair eventually spits me out and leaves me adrift. Drifting is a relief after the storm’s violence. I’m glad to be doing nothing, and there in that stillness I notice something small on the horizon. How interesting. Had that been there before? Time to learn what it is, and now I’m up and steering a new course, not surprised at all that the skies have cleared and a current is carrying me.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Fearless Writing: How to Create Boldly and Write With Confidence.
You can find William at: williamkenower.com