Won't Quit

When it’s going poorly, when it’s going as poorly as it can go, when you’re sitting down and not only can’t you find the story but you can’t find why you wanted to tell the story in the first place; when all that’s on your mind are rejection letters, and when those letters are not fuel for wanting to prove your doubters wrong but only harbingers of some miserable future; when facing the page leaves you feeling empty and uncreative, you may want to quit.

You may want to be done with this nameless, formless suffering, be done with not knowing, with other people’s judgment on your work holding so much weight, be done with the hopeless feeling of trying and failing to make something from nothing. You may wish you could get ahold of your younger self and warn them about what they are about to start, how there are so many other ways for them to spend their time.

And you can do it. You can quit. The world will keep spinning if you do. Babies will keep getting born, cars will keep driving, the sun will rise and set. In fact, no one will really care. At first, they might, but they’ll get over it. These people who know and love you, they don’t want you to be a writer; they just want you to be happy.

But you’ll care. It won’t be because you gave up. Everyone gives up something at some point. Giving up something you never should have been doing in the first place feels great, feels like success, feels like the beginning of something new and better. You’ll only care because you quit the wrong thing, and you’ll feel it like the wrong word in the middle of a sentence, feel it like forcing a character to get married when she wants be single. You know the difference between right and wrong. You’ve lived it, and you know you can’t actually quit what’s right for you. It’ll follow you forever, as a part of you as your desire, follow and follow until you quit wondering if you’re good enough, worthy enough, smart enough, or talented enough to be who you’ve always been.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Fearless Writing: How to Create Boldly and Write With Confidence.
You can find William at: williamkenower.com