Discovering Experience

A few years ago, I listened to an interview with the actor Jason Alexander, who rose to fame playing George Costanza on the immensely popular 90s sit com, Seinfeld. As a fan of that show, I’d much admired his acting chops, how committed he was to the character, as well as his pitch-perfect comedic timing. He’d recently returned to stage work, where, I was not surprised to learn, he’d begun his career. He loved being back in the theater, but he realized he wasn’t that interested in acting anymore. He found directing far more satisfying.

“It’s the characters,” he explained. “I love the process of the discovering the characters. Learning who they are, unpacking them, making them real. The actual performing – meh. It’s mostly just about the applause and all that. Who cares?”

And I thought, “I’ll tell you who cares: most performers.” Listening to him, I was reminded of the malleable forms success can take. How easy it is to assume that if you are a comedic actor, there exists a singular notion of success, that everyone who’s ever stood on stage or in front of a camera desires to achieve the kind of sustained recognition and achievement enjoyed by Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep. After all, Jerry Seinfeld went right back to doing standup when the show ended, and he is quite clear that a big reason why he did so is because of the laughter and applause. 

Everything, even what we think of as success, is still just an experience. Performing is an experience, and directing is an experience. Being recognized everywhere you go is an experience, and being anonymous is an experience. Publishing a book with a big New York publisher is an experience, and self-publishing is an experience. No experience is actually quantifiably, universally, undeniably better than the other. An experience is only good if you enjoy it.

Not only does everyone have what it takes to succeed at what they love doing, but also to achieve the success that is most meaningful to them. For some people, being #1 on the New York Times bestseller list is an important, satisfying experience; for others, not so much. Just as there is no one right way to write a book, there is also no one right way to feel satisfied with our work. We are not all born with our lives aimed at the same mountaintop, all our days a scrambling race to its peak. There is no real competition. There is only discovery, just as every unique author discovers the end of their unique story.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com