Natural Expectations

It’s nice when good things happen. You’ve sold a story or published a book or gotten a rave review somewhere. Nice to have a little celebration. After all, you liked the story that you sold or published or was reviewed. You wouldn’t have written it if you didn’t like it, wouldn’t have tried to share it with strangers. It’s just that you didn’t know who else would like it. No way to know that, is there? No, there isn’t. And not knowing something you wish – or that you in fact believe you need to know can be worrisome if you let it.

Worrying is no fun at all. If you worry long enough you can start to doubt, and that’s even worse. To doubt is to picture the very thing you don’t want, to use that fabulous imagination of yours to conjure a bleak landscape of disinterested readers. Doubt something long enough and you start believing it’s real. Seems real. After all, you’re really upset about it, and you’ve really been unhappy lately, and you’d really rather be happy than unhappy.

Then the glad news arrives. Oh, what a relief. Now, the worry and doubt and unhappiness clear away like fog chased by strong breeze. Life is bright and lovely again, and now you can make plans and enjoy yourself and write more stories and go to dinner and talk to friends without the shadow of your unanswered questions darkening every moment.

Such can be the life of a writer. This cycle can repeat itself again and again for your entire life. Do yourself a favor the next time you get some good news: don’t get too excited. It’s not just that you were the one worrying and doubting, that this was a choice you made in the privacy of your uncertain mind and you’re only relieved because you no longer have to do this thing absolutely nothing and no one ever made you do in the first place – but the excitement implies that what we call good news is rare.

It needn’t be. Let it be natural. Let it be expected. Yes, it’s less dramatic, and as a storyteller you no doubt like a little drama, but save that drama for the page. To expect what you want is not a recipe for disappointment, despite what our Pessimist Within believes. Rather, that expectation is a training of your mind toward the direction you wish to travel. It is only our requirements of time, our impatient fear, that will disappoint. Be disciplined, choose your path as you choose your stories, and you can expect to find plenty of reasons for celebration along the way.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com