Already Free

I have known many writers who, like myself, while struggling through years without publishing success, had to ask themselves, “Do I actually want to do this?” It’s a vitally important question because it is not unusual to begin one’s writing journey while still quite young, when decisions are sometimes made in haste or ignorance. Many of us would not want to marry the first person we dated, nor turn our first job into a lifetime career.

After all, “being a writer” can become an imagined, romanticized idea, the way so much of life is imagined and romanticized when we are young. The imagination is the way we try things out first, picturing ourselves with someone or doing something. It’s never the same as the real thing, but you have to start somewhere. Still, it’s easy in our imagination to leave out most of an experience, to only picture how satisfied and safe and free we’ll feel when we know we’re “good enough” to do whatever we want to do.

Which is why asking yourself if you actually want write is so important. Feeling safe and satisfied and free is one thing, doing something is another entirely. Nothing I do will ever guarantee safety, satisfaction, and freedom. I have certainly sought that wellbeing in my relationships and pursuits, only to feel empty and lost at the end of the day. It’s a little confusing, since I still love what and whom I love – and yet there I’d be, wondering what the point of it all is.

However, my wellbeing can be found – or accessed, I should say – by asking, “Do I actually want to do this? Is the pleasure I derive from doing it enough of a reason to do it?” Now I am free to choose what I want to do; I don’t have to do something to feel satisfied or valuable. I cannot put myself in some prison, believing the only way out is through success. This is a formula for hating the thing I actually love, to feel trapped in a life I have dreamed into reality.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com