Just Doing It Doesn't Work

I’m starting a new video project that’s consuming most of my creative time these days. That time includes the idle hours in the day as I drift from this to that and my mind seems most fertile. I’ve been thinking about this project often for the last week or so, with new and new and new ideas for what it will look and sound like, and how I can promote it, and how the content will evolve. It even required I clean and reorganize my office, as that’s where it’ll be shot. I’ve thought my office needed cleaning and organizing for a couple years, but resisted doing so. It seemed boring and overwhelming.

Then this project came along, and it was done in a few hours. Not only did I do it, but I enjoyed doing it. I liked deciding what should stay and what should go, and how to arrange the books on my bookshelf. I was mildly disappointed when I was done and realized I had felt the way I feel at the end of a story I’ve loved writing and must accept there’s nothing left to edit or add. I was reminded again how there’s nothing better than making a choice when you feel that choice is yours and yours alone. Which is why when I saw the room was finished, I immediately thought, “Okay. What next?”

My wife had been suggesting I start this for several years. I’d be complaining about my work and wanting more, and she’d say, “Make those videos. They’ll be great and you’ll love doing it.” I sensed she was right, but I felt no enthusiasm for it. Just do it, I’d think. Then I wouldn’t. I’d always feel a little embarrassed the next and next and next time she’d suggest it and I’d shrug and say, “Maybe,” knowing I wouldn’t. It was as if I were conspicuously avoiding a responsibility. That’s not me, I’d think. I do stuff and like doing it. And yet, I didn’t want to do this.

There were a number of small steps that led me this project. There was buying new and better ring lights, which I’d wanted for a while. There was my agent telling me I needed to build my platform even more, and recommending a bunch of ideas I knew I had zero interest in pursuing. But mostly there was a Sunday morning when I was mopping my kitchen floor and the ideas started flooding my mind. I recognized this experience as soon as it happened, as if a door had opened somewhere, and every idea led to another one. Now I’ll do it, I thought, because now I’m inspired.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com