No Shame in Learning

Though I know it’s not for everyone, I think anyone could benefit from learning a musical instrument later in life. It’s different when you’re a kid, when most people learn to play the guitar or the violin or the trumpet. All you do is learn then – and play; but your job, so to speak, is to learn. There’s a ton you don’t know, from math, to science, to politics, to grammar, to music theory. Plus, you’re rarely better at what you do than adults. You pick up a flute for the first time and can’t even a make noise out of it, but so what? You’ve spent most of your life asking someone older than you how to do this or that. They’ll tell you and then you’ll start learning how. It’s all you’ve ever done.

Then you’re an adult. By now, you’re good at something. Whether it’s baking, or filing taxes, or building cabinets, you’re not only competent, but you could easily teach someone else a thing or two about what you know. It’s nice to be good at what you do, particularly if you like doing it. It’s nice to have far more success than failure. The cakes are always moist, you can find all the deductibles, and the cabinets fit right into place. It’s satisfying and maybe you feel valuable, like a crewmember on a ship whose skill with the sails or navigation are necessary to bring everyone home safely.

However, when you pick up an instrument, any instrument, you’re going to feel like you stink at it. . You’ve heard music, and the noises you make could hardly be described as such. It can be a little tough on the ego. It’s probably been a long time since you’ve been this conspicuously bad at something you’re trying to do. You’ve spent most of your time the last ten or twenty or forty years doing things you’re good at and avoiding things you aren’t. Now, anyone listening will know how bad you are. Oh, the shame of it.

This is why it can be helpful. You’re not bad, you’re just beginning. If you can remember that, you’ll learn. You’ll notice and take pleasure in every small triumph, every little run where you hit the notes, every chord that’s played cleanly. Accumulate enough of these, and you might even start playing something that sounds like actual music. Shame prevents learning, believing as it does in ceaseless and impossible perfection. Perfection isn’t the interesting part anyway. As soon as you feel as though you’ve perfected anything, you will naturally lift your head and look around for something else to learn.

Check out Fearless Writing with Bill Kenower on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com