6 Words Every Writer Should Avoid
By RJ Thesman
As a writing coach, I often hear my clients utter specific reasons why they cannot write. These particular reasons, focused around six words, keep writers stuck behind emotional blocks. But we can work through those blocks and find new ways to craft our words. By moving toward our writing goals, avoiding these six words.
What If
The first two words, “What if” are statements based on fear.
“What if I get a contract and I can’t meet the deadlines?”
“What if I work on this article or book and I get rejected?”
“What if I have only one book in me? Is it worth it?”
The fear of failure fuels the “What if” question. Understandable. No one wants to fail. But some writers are actually afraid of success.
“What if I succeed? How will I handle it?”
“How will success change my life and my relationships?”
“What if I can’t handle success?”
Some of the ways to fight against “What if” is to beat it back with the truth. Every writer WILL at some point be rejected, because rejection is a side effect of our craft. But we can learn from our failures, study good writing and become even stronger writers.
If we use fear as a motivator rather than a paralyzer, we can march toward more publishing credits and fewer rejections.
As Jeff Goins writes, “Courage is doing the thing only you can do.”
Only you can write your story. Only you can place certain characters within a book, using your life experiences and your creative plot lines. Only you can write that memoir that outlines the journey of your life.
To avoid “What if,” we stop comparing ourselves to other writers. We find support in critique groups, and we break larger tasks into smaller steps.
We can reverse those “What if” statements and make them more positive.
“What if I succeed and love being a full-time writer?”
“What if my one book becomes a series that children love and it inspires them to read more?”
“What if I impact someone’s life through my words?”
But
The third word to avoid is “but.” It sounds like a reason, but it is really an excuse.
“I want to write, but I don’t have the credibility in my bio.”
“I long to be a writer, but I don’t have a journalism or creative writing degree.”
“I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I don’t have a platform. No one will listen to me.”
All of these “but” statements can be countered with the personal experience article and the memoir genre. Personal experience is the most powerful way to earn a publishing credit, because no one can discredit your story. Every writer can develop a platform filled with publishing credits based on personal experience. In fact, the personal experience article is the easiest one to sell. Almost every magazine accepts this genre of articles.
No one else has lived your life, and no one can judge how you have reacted to life’s valleys and mountain tops. Your journals are filled with incredible materials only you can write: the way your braids felt as they bounced on your back when you ran across the playground, the awkward thoughts as you began to discover your personality during junior high, the pain of your broken heart when they lowered your father’s casket into winter’s hard earth.
The most common “but” statement is, “But I don’t have enough time.” We all have 168 hours each week, and we alone determine what is most important to us — how we will spend our time.
Sure … during certain seasons of life, time management will vary. Nursing and raising triplets during their first two years involves a different structure of time than the months after you drop them off at the college dorm.
But imagine the wealth of material you can jot down for future use: tips on how to raise healthy kids, recipes for finicky toddlers, best practices for disciplining children without breaking their spirits. Keeping a journal handy becomes a vital tool for the writer who refuses to let the “buts” stop her.
We may not have the quantity of writing time we want, but we can make SOME time to write and work on our craft. Writers who refuse to make excuses find time during a lunch hour, a subway commute, half time of their child’s basketball game, early morning plotting, late night character sketching, weekends or writing retreats.
When we set healthy boundaries around our time, find our motivation and persevere — those “but” excuses lose their power.
I Should Have
The final three words to avoid are “I should have.”
“I should have started writing years ago. I’m too old now.”
“I should have jotted down that idea in the middle of the night. Now it’s gone.”
“I should have attended that writers conference. Now I can’t find an agent.”
The “I should haves” are based on regret and false guilts. They force us to look backward instead of moving toward our goals. “I should have” becomes its own excuse. Without changing our behaviors, this regretful attitude allows us to sit around not writing. We self-sabotage.
Gandhi said, “You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing — there will be no results.”
How many of us want to journey to the end of life and then cry, “I should have finished that memoir and given it to my children and grandchildren. I should have ignored the excuses and used every spare minute to craft words into sentences, paragraphs and chapters.”
So how do we defeat the “I should haves?”
Stop multi-tasking. We know it only creates distractions. Focus on one task at a time and conserve creative energy for what is most important. Know your best energy time and utilize it. Do you think better in the morning or in the evening, or maybe early afternoon?
In business, we talk about the ROI: Return on Investment. Writers also need to consider the ROE: Return on Energy.
Take a break and give yourself permission to walk in crunchy autumn leaves or stretch out for a ten-minute cozy nap. Schedule an artist date where you visit a gallery and create the story behind the portrait.
Write something every day, even if it’s one paragraph.
Don’t over-think the process. Just sit down and start typing words. Each morning, begin with the statement, “Today I will ….” Then do it. And congratulate yourself with each successful completion.
When we recognize how we’re using these six emotion-blocking words, we can be more aware of how to avoid them. Then we’ll find ourselves using six words that are much more exciting, “I’m proud to be a writer.”