Trustworthy Stories

I talk about stories often in this space, but when I do so I am not necessarily referring to fiction, nor even to memoir or personal narrative. I consider everything I write a story, even if an essay like this has no characters or events. Stories are interpretations of experiences, lenses through which we see our lives. My goal is always to offer my readers the friendliest lens I can imagine.

I happen to think this should be all our goals, whether we’re writers or not, but I understand the world does not always look that friendly to us. In fact, the world can look so unfriendly, so violent and untrustworthy, that we might be tempted to believe we must protect ourselves from it. So maybe we tell stories about how best to stay safe, about how to spot a bad boss, or what red flags we should look for in new relationships. We’ve all felt duped before, felt we trusted and then were disappointed or betrayed. Let this be a warning, we tell each other. Beware, beware.

I admit I certainly used to trust what proved utterly untrustworthy. I trusted that when certain events came to pass, when a girl said Yes, or a house was bought, or a book was sold, I would feel better; I would feel loved, or happy, or successful, or safe. Yet whatever the conditions of my life, however often people have told me they loved me, however beautiful my house, however many books I’ve sold, I can always, always, always feel unloved, poor, and talentless. Indeed, the more I look to these things to feel good, the worse I always feel. In this way, everything and everyone is potentially disappointing and unfriendly.

On the other hand, if I want to feel loved, I need only think about what I love; if I want to feel talented, I need only think of what interests me most; and if I want to feel rich, I need only tune to the endless stream of new thoughts and new possibilities of which I am a part. That is the friendliest story I know, though I don’t always tell it. I forget sometimes I’m a storyteller, and start believing I’m a character stuck in some horrible play filled with bullies and dullards. Whose idea was this? I wonder. There’s only one friendly answer, and it happens to be the truth.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Fearless Writing: How to Create Boldly and Write With Confidence.
You can find William at: williamkenower.com