Generous Writing

Perhaps you’re familiar with adage that an author should write what they would most like to read. This is good advice, I think, and yet another expression of the truism that we should treat others the way we wish to be treated. All of this is easy to say, but, as always, harder sometimes to do. There is often the temptation to treat others the way they are treating you, to react to someone who is reactive, to strike back against those who would strike, to judge those who are judging. Let them see how it feels.

It won’t feel good. For anyone. It feels as bad to strike someone as is to be struck, it’s just harder to notice when you’re the one throwing the punch or leveling the judgment. It reminds me of how it feels when I’m trying to finish something and it’s not coming together and I start growing a little impatient. Tempting to start forcing ideas into a piece just so I can call it done. I have to pay very close attention to notice the discomfort that always comes when I write into the teeth of my own resistance.

It's not unlike what I feel when I make myself keep reading a book or watching a show I’m not really enjoying. As with the how I treat others, it’s usually easier to notice when I don’t like what I’m reading than what I’m writing. Regardless, both leave me grumpy and unsatisfied and tempted to blame someone or something for my unhappiness. I start disliking other people, what with all their anger and judgment and making stuff I don’t like.

I’ve known this cycle throughout my life, and it still surprises me a little when I remember again that generosity, whether in conversation or in writing, benefits everyone. When I write what I want to read, it means I’m giving to others what I wish to receive. Nothing is sacrificed in this exchange. After all, everything I’ve ever given has come to me first, was known by me first, felt and enjoyed by me first before I make the most natural and easiest choice to give it and give it and give it away.

If you like the ideas and perspectives expressed here, feel free to contact me about individual coaching and group workshops.

Everyone Has What It Takes: A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt
You can find William at: williamkenower.com